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Is It A Waste of Time to Explain Oneself?: Helen Paul’s Black Eye Attributed to Domestic Violence

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In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (either in the ascending or descending order), the third tier of the pyramid model is Belongingness and Love Needs/Desires.

Recently, a popular entertainer, Helen Paul, made an Instagram post narrating her ordeal which led to her usage of sunglasses even while taking pictures. She mentioned that some people who were oblivious of the true situation assumed she was being proud.

@itshelenpaul: “Sometime ago, I was involved in a car accident in Abuja. I suffered a concussion to my head and had to wear sunglasses for a while. When taking pictures with others, I would leave my sunglasses on and many complained that I didn’t want my face to show in pictures with them. Some even assumed I was being proud, being a star. They were totally oblivious of the true situation. Not all things are truly what they appear to be. Many are hiding a lot and showing the best side on social media. Focus on the majors and forget the minors. Thank God every day for all blessings, great and small…Four months ago…”

Her fans and supporters showered her with loads of love and sympathy in the comment section as expected. However, some comments suggested a different narrative to her story. (See screenshots below).

Being misunderstood is part of human relations but forcing one’s unsolicited and unwitnessed narrative down the throat of another’s story is uncivil.  Generally, different memes have flooded the internet displaying the level of criticism that exists in our society. One of which is a clip from an old Nigerian movie featuring a veteran actor popularly called Mr. Ibu and another actor fondly called Pawpaw (after the names of the characters they played in some movie, respectively). The former is the father and the latter, the son.

It is this desire to feel loved that sends us into a self-explanatory mode for fear of being called awful adjectives such as bad, proud, arrogant, bossy, snub, and the likes.

In this clip, Mr. Ibu is riding his bicycle with his son and their load on it. They are stopped by a passerby accusing them of being wicked to the bicycle by exerting too much weight on it. Considering this accusation, Mr. Ibu decides to relieve the bicycle of his weight, leaving that of his son and the load. He is stopped again by the criticism of a passerby who is irritated by the current scene. He calls pawpaw wicked and imagines how he (Pawpaw) could ride on a bicycle while his father is on foot. Again, Mr. Ibu conforms to the notion of this passerby and exchanges position with his son. The journey continues. Ibu rides while Pawpaw follows. This is yet another ‘abomination’. Two passersby baffle at the scene and rebuke Mr. Ibu for being a heartless father who would ride a bicycle, leaving his little son on foot. He (Mr. Ibu) decides now, to step down and pull the bicycle alongside his son (both of them now on foot). As has always been the case, he is stopped and questioned for putting up such a ridiculous act. In frustration, he abandons the bicycle. This mirrors, clearly, the level of unconstructive criticism people deal with and if not careful, lose themselves in trying to conform.

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (either in the ascending or descending order), the third tier of the pyramid model is Belongingness and Love Needs/Desires.

As humans, one of our fundamental desires is the desire to feel loved irrespective of the self-defensive comments all over social media screaming otherwise. It is this desire to feel loved that sends us into a self-explanatory mode for fear of being called awful adjectives such as bad, proud, arrogant, bossy, snub, and the likes. Now, you may ask, is it a waste of time to explain oneself? The answer would be “not when necessary and with the right people”.

As we have seen and might have witnessed personally, there are people whose eyes are clouded with shades of negativity, hence all they see is coloured the same. A story of a stranded girl who was helped by a stranger would mean to them that she offered her body in return, even though the gender of the helper was not mentioned. A story of a boy whose status took a great shift, would in their eyes mean that he is involved in some sort of illegal work. These people would not hesitate to attribute the joyful announcement of the arrival of a couple’s long-awaited baby to some fetish help” or water such news down with the sarcastic question, “is it not IVF?” If along the way, the baby dies and there is a medical explanation of what went wrong, then, their verbal excitement would go “I knew it!” The opposite of every story seems to be their interest, hence it is absolutely, a waste of time trying to get the approval of such people.

Does this mean that people telling their stories do not conceal some parts? Perhaps, they do, but it is not in our place to paint their walls black just because they did not grant us access to the whole room. As long as the story they are telling does not require accountability (for instance, stories involving the welfare of a nation, a team, an organization, and so on), it is humane to refrain from asserting dark assumptions even though we do not believe them. If we further claim that it is important to reach out to people who might not have the courage to speak up, then, as a friend in need, we could do reach out privately and still respect their boundaries.

♦ Favour Chiagozie Ebubechukwu is an Editorial  Staff Writer and columnist with the WAP

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The People’s Club of Nigeria in Sugarland Celebrates Thanksgiving―Spectacular Photos

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The People’s Club of Nigeria in Sugarland Spreads Thanksgiving Love to Celebrate COVID-19 Survival

GUARDIAN NEWS – HOUSTON, TX – As the spirit and cheerfulness of the Thanksgiving season spread all over North America, the People’s Club of Nigeria International (PCNI), Sugarland took it to another level. It was also a grand event to celebrate a victory over the pandemic. According to the group’s Chairman, Chief-Sir Nnanyelugo Obinna Mbachu, “We are equally celebrating our survival and thanking Almighty Jehovah for keeping us and our families alive and healthy from the pandemic.”

PCNI is an affluent Nigerian-based social club known for sophistication, charity, civic support, and community outreach. The event, the first major celebration outing of the group since the pandemic, attracted hundreds of dignitaries from Houston and beyond.  Venue was the Grand Hall of the Our Savior Anglican Church, Houston.

■ PCNI’s Chairman, Chief-Sir Nnanyelugo Obinna Mbachu, and wife, Chief-Mrs. Chinwe Mbachu

The PCNI is structured in alignment with its Nigerian overseers and prioritizes the wellness and advancement of its members. Members are known for cheery personality, sophistication, and devotedness and are selected within specific conditions that reflect upright charisma and integrity. Worldwide, The PCNI currently has under its stable, branches in Nigeria, the United States, Canada, and Europe.

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Disregard Any Inappropriate ‘Video’ Circulating in Social Media, Baba Suwe Son Tells Nollywood, Others

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Mr. Adesola Omidina, son of the late comic actor Baba Suwe, has called on the entertainment industry (Nollywood) and others affected, to disregard any inappropriate video(s) circulating on social media regarding his father death.

The son of the legend took to his Instagram page@ omo_ Omidina, to denounce and condemn the video(s) about his father’s death, which was wrongly posted.

According to him, the entertainment industry (Nollywood), The Theatre Arts and Movie Practitioners Association of Nigeria (TAMPAN), Government, Prophets, family, and fans were supportive in their own ways during his father’s health challenge.

“As the son of the VETERAN ACTOR “ Late Babatunde Omidina “Babasuwe “.

“I am genuinely issuing this statement to denounce and condemn the video(s) about Babasuwe death that has been wrongly posted!.

“The Nollywood, Tampan, the Government, Prophets, family, and fans have been supportive in their own ways.

“I hereby tender an apology to all the groups, people, and family affected!.

“Again, please disregard any inappropriate “Video” circulating in social media,” he wrote.

Meanwhile, Omidina has also taken to his Instagram page to announce the burial rite of his late father.

He said that his burial would commence at his residence( Baba Suwe’s house) at Elepe street, Ikorodu Lagos, on Thursday, Nov. 25.

“Burial Rite of Babatunde Omidina “Babasuwe” will commence at his residence (Elepe) @ Babasuwe’s House on Thursday 11/25/21 @ 10am prompt.Age: 63 years.

“The final Funeral ceremony will be announced later! Survived by: Children, Grandchildren, Mother and family! Signed by: Adesola Omidina. (For the Omidina Family),” he wrote.

A report by the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) started that Baba Suwe died on Monday, Nov. 22 at age 63, after a long battle with an undisclosed illness.

 

 

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Nature of Olu Jacob’s Illness Revealed

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Veteran actor, Olu Jacobs has been off the movie screens for a long while due to the condition of his ill-health. Fans had been left in the dark concerning the nature of his Illness with rumours spreading sometime ago about his demise which his wife, Joke Silva, debunked immediately.

However, in a popular interview show with Chude Jideonwo, Veteran actress, Joke Silva revealed for the first time publicly, the nature of his Illness to be Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB).

“What he is dealing with has been going on for a couple of years. It’s known as dementia with Lewy body and it’s a degenerative disease that affects the brain,” Joke Silver said.

She also revealed how hard it has been for the actor and the family and how she misses the times of working together with him.

“It’s been hard on him because he doesn’t understand what is going on and equally hard on family members as well. We have gone through it over the past couple of years and we thank God.

“We have gone through some times and there has been situations recently where I’m just like ‘oh, I just wish I had the old you here because I knew that I wouldn’t have to battle these on my own’ but… we are grateful for the moments of clarity.”

The veteran actor, Olu Jacobs, is a multiple awards winner, including a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Africa International Film Festival Awards held recently in Lagos.

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